All the kiss-and-tell stories I have been involved with - and remember they only account for about 25 per cent of my business - the accent has always been on the ridiculous, also on the complimentary. Always women will say, so-and-so was the most amazing lover, even if the man in question was absolutely hopeless. Even with old David Mellor, the girl said he was very good in bed. No, I don't think I have that cruel streak, John. It's not in my nature.

Two or three girls go to a club and they've worked out that one player is worth 50,000 (128,000), another's worth 30,000 (77,000). That's the reality.

Talk to the press and we'll bury you.

Camilla is a million miles away from achieving the popularity that Diana did. ... They will need all the PR expertise they can muster. Prince Charles and Camilla getting married and living in a house on one of his estates is one thing, her ever becoming queen is totally different.

Not a magazine, not Hello. She has got to go on live TV and make it clear to the viewers that she is really sorry. She has got to be sincere about it. If she comes across as anything other than really sincere and really sorry, it won't work.

It's got to be very slowly, very easy and relaxed. There's still a lot of people that are taking time to adjust.

It's a game, my hobby and my way of life,

The upshot was that no mention of the Chelsea strip headlines can appear in my book. It's absolutely hysterical. He was the only person to make a proper complaint. Everyone else seems happy.

This is an extremely lucrative sport and a glamorous one. He can make a lot of money and be a very valuable commodity for advertisers.

Young people realize that you don't need skills for being famous and believe it is easy, which it is not.